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Page #2 -Suggested Guidelines for Parents in Separation & Divorce Actions
must not talk or even think about what he senses is going on. Unpleasant happenings
need explanation, which should be brief, prompt. direct and honest.
12. The story of your marriage dissolution may have to be retold after the child gets
older and considers life more maturely. Though it would be unfortunate to present dis-
solution as a tragedy and either party as a martyr, it would be a pity also to pretend that
there are no regrets and that dissolution is so common that it hardly matters.
13. The guilt parents may feel about the marriage breakdown may interfere in their
disciplining the children. A child peals consistent control and direction: Over-per-
missiveness or indecisive parents who leave a child at the_ mercy of every passing whim
and impulse interfere with a child's healthy development. Children need and want to
know quite clearly what is expxted of them. Children feel more secure when limits are
set. They are confused when grown-ups seem to permit behavior which they themselves
know to be'wrong and are trying to outgrow. Children need leadership and sometimes
authority. Parents must be ready to say "NO" whcn necessary.
14: Don't overlook the fact that you are only human and admit it: You won't be able
to makc a 10096 score on being the perfect parent. (No one ever dots in good or bad ~ "
times). When you fail in your attempts acknowledge it and resolve to attempt to improve
" day by day.
_ IS. READ AND R1~-READ these basic guidelines. Add to them by writing down
your own constructive positive approaches to the handling of your new way of lining. "
Discuss, when practicable, your thoughts and feelings with others whom you trust and
fool comfortable with.
JAMB J. BUTI.I~ 8~~~ PAGE~7
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