HomeMy WebLinkAbout2296 r
• -
-
i -
- ~ ~ -
-
-
1
( 1 -
_ -
' If disputes or misunderstandings should arise from time to time, both-the Husband and
the Wife agree to make every reasonable effort to seek advice and counsel with a view
toward constructively, positively, respectfully and fairly resolving the matters in
dispute. Unly-after all practicable efforts (including but not limited to counselling)
have been tried and have failed shall either the Husband or the Wife submit such dis-
putes to litigation. This philosophy and guideline shall not be construed to prevent
the Husband or the Hife from taking any action deemed urgently needed ire the best
interests of either party or the minor children. _
-
Both parents will do their best to assure that the children have frequeh t and continuing
contact with each parent.- This may not mean scrupulously equal contact or conditions of
residence. It does mean that parents will use their best efforts to work out personally
the details of sharing the physical custody matters as best befits their circumstances.
To this goal, the parents will use whatever resources are available to them including
written articles, counselors, and other intermediaries whom they trust.
Each parent will try their best to deal with the fact that joint custody to a parent not
having physical custody is far .less meaningful than the practical day-to-day presence
of the child being in the home. Fears-and worries do arise regularly that one parent
or both of them may be "losing" their relationship with their child. Such fears and
worries are normal and must be seen as a matter needing regular discussion and attention
in the best interests of the children AND their parents. .
The-parents must each scrupulously protect the other parent's rights with respect-to
their children. Each must assure that future spouses or friends of the parents do not
try to assume the role of the other parent, but rather that the new adults in their lives
likewise follow these guidelines and likewise protect both parents' .relationships with
the children. Such relationships, based on mutual respect, should present strong and
beneficial role models for the children. The children will sense this protection of
their rights and will benefit from it.
~ _
~ Counselors are relationship mechanics who repair relationships much as garage mechanics -
~ repair cars. Just as we go to the dentist rather than pull out our own teeth and we go
to a mechanic when we have serious problems with. our car, we should look positively at
the possibilities of giving our broken relationships to a relationship mechanic. Parents
and children must relate to and deal with each other as long as they are alive. There
will almost certainly b-e times when the relationships are strained or in need of -repair.
We shoulai not fall prey to the-temptation to believe that psychologists, psychiatrists.
and the like are only for "sick" people. They are there to build and rebuild lives and
relationships. -
tven when you feel extremely angry toward your ex-spouse, express your feelings construc-
tively. Make yourself part of the solution. IF YqU ARE NOT PARE OF THE SOLUTIII"l, YOU
ARE PART OF THE PROBLEt1 --JUST AS MUCH AS IS THE OTHER PERSON.
~ Think of as many ways as you can to participate in your children's development - heap
with homework, PTA, sports, hobbies, parties, vacations,-and so on. Encourage your ex-
spouse to do the same --and try"your best to make your ex-spouse comfortable in doing
so. Your actions will speak more clearly than your words.
-
-
800K eiJJ PAGE
JAMBB J. BiT'i`LBR
A~-roR~~r war Lw~?
' Sal RAgT OODAl~ SOULRVARD O B'147A1lT• FLORIDA 88~A•
i ~,r',